Bill Sykes' Newsletter from America.
(February 2002)
An ex-Brit gives his views-(without fear
or favor)---of the American Scene
By Gad sir - this is not cricket!!!
I had a dream. (courtesy of you know who).
True story. Well the dream part is.
 I
was in conversation at a secret location, (so secret that
I had no idea where it was or how I got there-well it was
a dream wasn't it---so what can one expect), with the Indian
Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee and the Pakistani President
Pervez Musharraf.
Just the three of us.
Why me??? Who knows, perhaps they needed an unbiased opinion!!!
Anyway, now we have set the stage, on with the dream.
The negotiations between the two major participants, regarding
who owned Kashmir were going nowhere and were particularly
aggressive and volatile.
 As
I was a silent and unobtrusive onlooker, I obviously had
nothing to say on the matter, until surprisingly I was asked
for an opinion.
I thought long and hard about what I perceived to be the
problem and then had what I considered to be a brilliant
insight as to how the problem could be solved.
Cricket, by gad sir, a cricket match! Pakistan versus India,
on a pitch to be prepared on the demarcation line between
Pakistani controlled Kashmir and Indian controlled Kashmir.
Preferably in a flat fertile valley, if one could be found.
The location was decided and a perfectly prepared wicket
was produced. The teams were selected---did my eyes deceive
me or was that Wally Heap and Freddy Truman out there as
umpires. (Now most of you know Freddy Truman, but I would
bet that there is not one amongst you who knows the identity
of the other umpire).
Wally Heap was a teacher in the late 1930's, at Goitfield
all-boys school in Longwood, and amongst other things he
was my PE teacher.
Mr. Heap was an excellent cricketer who I used to watch
playing for Paddock on Saturday afternoons. Henceforth he
was part of my dream.
It's funny, but when you get to my age you remember vague
personalities from the long distant past with great clarity,
but by lunchtime you have forgotten what you had for breakfast.
I'm sure that there may be a few readers of this newsletter
that can relate to such a situation.
 The
date of the five match series, "Winner take all"
was put on the calendar and everything was set to go.
Unfortunately, on the day of the much awaited first match,
whilst all the TV news stations had forgotten about "the
war" and were concentrating all their news media people
at the secret location to enlighten the world at large on
the once genteel but complex sport of cricket---even though
maybe only the BBC and a select few leading British newspapers
understood the rules and regulations----it rained and the
match was postponed.
Oh dear, did it rain---Yes, oh yes---bombs, rockets, all
sorts of explosive devices, (fortunately no atomics weapons)---but
the deluge completely destroyed the beautiful cricket pitch
and set the whole negotiations back to square one.
Well what did you expect, perfection - this was a dream-----
and as we live in an imperfect society even a dream cannot
always have a happy ending. Having just reread, what I previously
considered to be a fascinating and humorous solution to
the India/Pakistani problem, I am trying to make up my mind
whether to go ahead and publish, or scrap the whole paragraph.
Here I am trying to insert a little humor into a terrible
situation and find myself being my own worst critic.
If I had the outrageous humorous wit of Bill Bryson (*)
I probably could have done a better job.
(*) Bill Bryson, author of "Notes from a Small Island".
A hilarious view, by an American, of life as he experienced
it during a ten year sojourn in England. Highly recommended
reading.
Pertinent facts.
The territory of Kashmir was hotly contested, even before
India and Pakistan gained independence from Britain in August
of 1947.
Under the plan of participation, (Indian Independence Act
of 1947), Kashmir was free to accede to India or Pakistan.
The Maharaja, Hari Singh, wanted to stay independent, but
eventually decided to accede to India in return for military
aid and a promised referendum.
Since then the territory has been the object of many armed
conflicts between India and Pakistan.
The first war in 1947/1948 and the second in 1965 with a
third bitter conflict in 1999.
The ownership of the territory of Kashmir is still in contention
and the future is still uncertain.
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By
Gad Sir - This Is Not Cricket!
