Bill Sykes' Newsletter
from America.
(March 2004)
An ex-Brit gives his views-(without fear
or favor)---of the American Scene
Sex and Violence: (Two Part Paragraph).
Part One: The Violence.
One would think that this paragraph was going to be all
about some "X" rated hard porno movie, but to
the contrary dear readers its all about the American Football
scene, not to be confused with British Football, (known
as Soccer over here).
This is all about the American Football Super Bowl, which
was played, (and I use the word "played", loosely
- although most Americans take their football very seriously),
on Sunday the first of February 2004. This was really
more of a battle between heavily armoured Trojan warriors
than a game of football.
I must of course admit that there have been many times
when physical violence has been experienced from British
soccer "supporters", especially upon foreign
soil.
To set the scene:
 With
much publicity and hullabaloo, the game described as a
spectacularly physical brute strength exhibition of American
sport came to be played by the top two teams to reach
the Super Bowl, the Carolina Panthers and the New England
Patriots. Now let me explain some of the requirements
needed to play this game.
 There
are eleven players on each side and four fifteen-minute
quarters to each game. Although I say fifteen minute-quarters
it normally takes at least 45 minutes to play each quarter,
what with time-outs, measuring yardage, team changes -
oh yes, please let me mention team changes - I said that
there were eleven players a side, and in all reality at
the kick off there are eleven players per side. Eleven
"offensive" players on one side and eleven "defensive"
players on the other side, and then of course there are
at least double that amount of players for each team sat
on the bench. There are at least three quarter backs,
(the guys who pass, or throw the ball with great accuracy),
there are specialized offensive players, specialized defensive
players, there are specialized kickers, (dead ball kickers,
punters, receivers who catch and kick the ball, field
goal kickers), there are specialized receivers who sometimes
amaze me with their speed and dexterity in catching a
ball thrown by the Quarterback,
Now that sounds more than a little crowded doesn’t
it, and one could not be faulted for envisaging a scene
were the player and the rest of their entourage outnumber
the spectators---but we have yet to come to the coaches
and the Officials.
Let's now take a look at the coaches, who of course have
assistant coaches to support them in making such momentous
decisions as to which players should participate at any
particular time and what plays should be performed.
Each team has a Head Coach, (the guy with the worried
look and the headphone/microphone slung around his neck
which he generally covers with his hand so no one can
read his lips when talking to what I assume to be his
specialty coaches or perhaps he even has direct contact
with his quarterback through a cell phone helmet device.
Who knows?
He also has a play chart in his hand which describes plays,
(which his team have practiced over and over again), to
fit each and every occasion that comes up, or may come
up, and he issues orders accordingly to the Quarterback
who then gets into a huddle with the players to tell them
which play they are going to perform at each particular
down.
(If you are still with me, I may explain what a down is
later),
Then we have the specialty coaches, offence, defence,
kicking, etc and also perhaps other coaches that I don’t
even know of.
We can’t let this go by without a mention of the
officials - now let me see, we have a referee, an umpire,
a head linesman, a line judge, a back judge, a field judge,
a side judge - have I missed anyone out - surely I must
have - perhaps there are two of each???
Please don’t ask me to describe what the players
are trying to achieve. Let me say briefly that the offensive
team has four downs in which to make a land grab of ten
yards and if they don’t make ten yards then they
have to kick the ball down field to a designated receiver
on the opposing team. If they make the ten yards, then
they have four more downs to play ad-infinitum.
Their main objective is to score touch downs which give
them six points, and then the field goal kicker comes
on and attempts to obtain the extra point for a conversion,
similar to British Rugby. Enough is enough, as by now
you are getting so confused as to say why in the hell
is he telling me all this rubbish.
I started to watch the game in the comfort of our home,
and the first half was so exciting that I fell asleep.
Yep, I fell asleep.
The last five minutes of the game, (which took at least
fifteen minutes to play), was quite exciting. I’ve
always maintained that in general the best part of any
American Football game is the last five minutes, especially
if the score is very close at that time. Forgot to give
you the result - as if you really cared - Carolina Panthers
29 points, New England Patriots 32 points - a game which
was literally won in the dying seconds. To give you some
idea as to how long this epic lasts - the Super Bowl Game
TV commentary commenced well prior to the kick off at
3:30pm and finished around 7:30pm. That included the half
hour half time show, but did not include the lead up hour
describing how the two teams reached the final and the
half hour post game analysis as to who did what to whom,
and when, with the obvious flash backs. The American national
anthem prior to the start of the game was sung by - you’ll
never believe this - a person with the name of "Bootlicious
Beyonce".
Really, I’m not making this up!
We welcome feedback about any of the contents of these
newsletters. Please send all correspondence to bill_sykes@huddersfield1.co.uk
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