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The Column

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December, 2000
PP. Been a while since you sent a column in Brian?

BK. Regarding the football articles, what a let down I am, what can I say, events in the last couple of months have kept me busy

PP. So what have you been up to then?

BK. Ex-pro gets a phone call from Sky Sports during a normal week of ripping down ceilings, walls and clearing loads of shit.

Brian would you be interested in coming down to London, get soaking wet and take a penalty in a car park against an ex Brookside star?

Are you taking the piss was my first reaction, but after they told me more about what they wanted it sounded more feasible.

There was one problem, I had to get back to Huddersfield for the Press Association statistics work at 2 pm on the Saturday.

Sky Sport said that if they could sort something out would I be interested then?

Of course!

Two days later they rang back.

Sorted Brian. Car to take you to the airport in Manchester, flight down to London Heathrow, stay over night in a hotel near the airport, (which just happened to be round the corner from the studios). Car to pick you up in the morning take you to the studio take the penalty, car takes you to the airport, fly back to Manchester and a car will take you to McAlpine Stadium for the game.

And that is exactly what happened.

Had a ball and a laugh but bloody hell am I getting old or what? The grand total age of the whole crew at Sky Sport, which consisted of about twenty people, was 10.
Slight exaggeration but not far off.

Since that short TV performance I have been invited down again - same travel scenario, but this time I had to chase two guy's called the Venga Boys through some park in the middle of London in the pouring rain.

You had to be there to appreciate this one Peter.

PP. What about your Academy work with Huddersfield Town?

BK. The Huddersfield Town Under 14's team have been having a bit of an eventful time.

Sunderland away and Sunderland's first team had just beaten Newcastle 2-1,

I had been told that, when working for the academy, coaches are not to swear at the students and not to pick on players and just treat them with kid gloves.

My team talk consisted of "Lads, Newcastle got beat by these yesterday, so it would mean a lot to me if you went out there and give this lot hell"

So off they went and no word of a lie they were brilliant and beat them! After the game I called them across and told them to close in around me.

They thought they were going to get a bollocking but all I said to them in a crouched position with one fist clenched was "Yes you f*!*!!g beauties!" and they all went away laughing their heads off.

The next week it was a different story - beaten 5-1 didn't try a leg. Don't mind the lads losing as long as they try their best. I didn't say anything after the game. Barnsley of all teams!

Well I know now why, as a player, there was a few days in which all we did was run and that is exactly what I did with them during that week.

After the two training sessions we had a meeting where I told them that I had never felt as bad as that this season, and so disappointed, in them, but worst of all I hated just running players.

The lesson was don't do the running on the Sunday, do it on the Wednesday and Thursday.

But to be fair they knew I wasn't happy and they ran their hearts out without a moan.

Test of character - Sheffield Wednesday at home and they looked like brick shithouse doors compared to our lads.

But ten minutes into the game three of their players were rolling around on the floor after wholehearted challenges from our lads and yes they did their running on the Sunday this week and won 3-2 - chuffed to death!

Head Injury Arrow GifBrian's CV Head Injury Arrow GifColumn One
Head Injury Arrow GifAustralasia Postcards Head Injury Arrow GifColumn Two

 

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