
The Lion, The Witch & The Rucksack
by Lynn Kilcline
CHAPTER FOUR - PALOLEM
(Printable
version here)
We drew in to the station at Margao at 11.30 a.m. and we
stood on the platform surrounded by our gear wondering who
the hell had turned the furnace on.
A young couple that had been in our carriage asked us where
we were heading. The man was tall and well built. He was wearing
T-shirt, shorts, trainers, baseball cap and carrying a very
big well-worn rucksack. The girl was about 5' 2''with a lovely
fresh face and shoulder length blond hair tied back under
her baseball cap. She was well wrapped up with a T-shirt,
tracksuit bottoms, walking boots and socks, and I can remember
thinking: `` Wow she must be hot.''
The rucksack she carried was almost as big as she was.
While we stood chatting an elderly couple sitting on a bench
on the platform caught my eye. The lady stood up, came across
and asked me if the train we had just left was the Bombay
train. I replied that it was. She looked exactly as I imagine
the English travellers to India would have looked 50 years
ago. She was wearing a dress with a flared skirt covered in
big flowers and a straw hat fastened with a string pulled
tightly under her chin. Her face was very wrinkled and golden
brown with mischievous blue eyes.
She asked where we were heading and without waiting for a
reply told me that she and her husband had been staying near
Palolem in excellent accommodation and we really must try
it. She was most insistent that we go, especially to this
particular hotel called Molyma. ''Just remember the name Molly,
my dear, have a rickshaw take you there. We had a huge room.
We could see monkeys and eagles from our balcony. Do go.''
At this point her husband joined her. He was the double of
Sir Les Patterson, the alter ego of Barry Humphries aka Dame
Edna Everidge. He had horrendous teeth protruding at all angles,
and he was drooling saliva on to his jacket. He was wearing
a suit, shirt and tie all of which were liberally stained,
and his trousers were too short exposing his socks and sensible
lace up shoes. A more unlikely couple standing on a railway
platform in the scorching heat could not be imagined. We bade
them farewell and safe journey and thanked them for their
information.
The young girl asked again where we were headed and I explained
my dilemma: Palolem versus Benaulim or Colva. She said they
were heading towards Palolem if they could find transport
and suggested that if we took a taxi together it would be
cheaper, and quicker than a bus or another train.
I was so bloody confused at this point, not to mention hot,
and Brian did not seem to be concerned where we went, so I
agreed to go with them. We trailed behind in their wake, along
the platform and up the steps and over the bridge to the road.
From the road we could see a row of taxis, recognisable only
because they were parked next to a very wobbly shed that had
the word ' Taxi' printed on the side. The cars were painted
a multitude of colours and stood in a sea of dust. It was
a motley array of vehicles which would certainly not pass
any M.O.T. test.
We were quite happy to let our new acquaintances barter with
the Indian in the hut and organise our journey. I certainly
had the impression that they had done this all before and
were not the novices we were. The deal made, we were pointed
towards our rusty conveyance.
Somehow we managed to stuff ourselves into the very small
car.
Two chaps over six foot, two women, four rucksacks and a great
deal of hand luggage most of which ended up tied precariously
to the roof.
The driver was crushed up against his steering wheel and as
the journey got underway at the break-neck speed that is the
norm for India, he decided he was too hot and would take his
jumper off.
Clearly this involved pulling it up over his head but at no
time did he deem it necessary to slow down. I tried weakly
to continue the conversation with our new companions who seemed
not in the least bit phased by the erratic weavings of the
car. So, not death in India by starvation or dysentery but
by fatal road accident.
All the car windows were open, which due to the speed created
a small whirlwind inside. I was crushed in the corner desperately
trying to stop my hat blowing off and prevent serious eye
damage from Brian's hair which was lashing about like a cat
'o'nine tails. We had just about started to introduce ourselves
when the driver decided to put his jumper back on. I was transfixed
and could not continue with the conversation until he was
safely wrapped up again.
We had to witness this jumper-on-jumper off scenario twice
more before reaching our destination.
Our fellow adventure seekers were Dutch. Anouk was 23 and
a recently qualified psychologist. Dave was 29 and worked
for a large steel company in Holland. They had flown into
Delhi and travelled north to Rishikesh and the source of the
Ganges. They had loved the scenery but it was bitterly cold
and they felt the need to warm up and so had headed for Goa.
They had been travelling for six weeks and this was their
final week. They had missed their train from Delhi to Bombay
and had to catch the next one. Bandits held up the train they
should have caught and everyone was robbed and a guard was
killed. So, now I could add murder to the possible causes
of death to consider on our trip. We were going to spend the
next three months on and off trains; maybe we needed guns
- not padlocks to protect our luggage.
The drive from Margao to Palolem was very lush and green
passing palm trees and paddy fields. We saw water buffalo
and cows wandering aimlessly about. We appeared to be approaching
Palolem and we tried to look out for possible accommodation.
There were huts with palm leaved roofs but little else. The
guidebook had suggested a place called Palolem Beach Resort.
It must be made plain at this stage that words such as hotel
and resort should not be confused with the accommodation bearing
those descriptions in Europe. We were talking basic. A square
room, with a sink if we were very lucky, electricity possibly,
paintwork that looked as if it had been attacked by 50 supermarket
trolleys, and a door or maybe just a curtain. A toilet facility
would be unlikely, and a toilet we would want to share a room
with, very doubtful.
We were deposited outside Palolem Beach Resort, which was
at the end of a dusty road. The only interesting thing from
the outside was the enticing aroma of food. Dave and Anouka
had not eaten for some time and were drooling at the smells,
but accommodation was top of the priorities.
Dave and I stood under a tree with all our baggage while Brian
and Anouk went off in search of somewhere to stay. After a
good 45 minutes Brian returned. He was wet through with sweat
and not smiling. Not a good sign. He had decided that Anouka
definitely had the edge on the bartering side and it would
be for the best if they split up. Brian had walked along the
beach and looked at bamboo huts and a tree house. The huts
had no security at all. It would be possible to reach through
the poles and steal our gear if the thief couldn't be bothered
to lift the door off. The tree house was interesting but wanting
to pee in the night might prove difficult if not fatal.
Two boys approached us with accommodation for rent and Brian
said he would go and look. I was just too hot to move.
He returned after another 30 minutes looking like a wet rag
and still not smiling. He had been shown two very basic rooms,
each with an old bed and a sink. He had declined to take them
and had wandered farther into the village where he saw two
more rooms which he said were worse.
Anouk and Dave had found a room which they said would do,
so we bade them a temporary farewell.
We decided to head to the Hotel Molyma which was about 3km
outside Palolem.
There were two or three auto rickshaws 100yds or so away and
we waved one over. Only we could have found the one disabled
driver with a speech impediment who looked as if he had been
hit by a cricket bat.
Even one of the locals had difficulty in making him understand
where we wanted to go. Did I care any more? Not really.
After a ride which seemed a lot longer than 3km we reached
a sign off to our left saying ' Molyma Resort. Kindlebag '.
We turned down a long dusty cinder track. A ¼ mile
of bouncing about in the rickshaw bought us to a large building
that had once been white. If we had pulled up outside a place
like this in any other country we have visited I would have
said: `` You have to be joking.'' As it was I think I probably
said: ``This looks nice.''
It was my turn to view prospective accommodation so I half
clambered, half fell out of the cab and up the steps to the
tatty reception. Old posters were hanging off the walls. The
reception desk looked like a film set for an old hotel in
Dodge City. There were wonky wooden pigeonholes behind the
desk with room keys hanging out of them like tongues. Brian
waited outside in the rickshaw.Unless these rooms had rats
we were going to be staying.
The Molyma was actually very big. There were three floors.
Each staircase led to an enormous landing area. The rooms
were accessed by a series of painted brown doors set back
from the landing. It resembled a cross between a barracks
and an old hacienda. The hallways were completely bare with
old brown and cream tiles on the floor. It was tatty but clean.
I was given the choice of three rooms. The first I viewed
was the room previously occupied by the English eccentrics
at the railway station. I smiled at the large empty bottle
of Chivas Regal and glasses outside the door. During our conversation
at the station the lady had mentioned that originally they
had intended to stay in Palolem for only a week but had stayed
two. Perhaps it took that long to sober up.
The large room was divided by some very rickety garden trellis.
One part was empty except for a very old ceiling fan. This
was one of a pair. The other twirled menacingly over the bed,
rocking on its mounting as it whirled. The bed and other luxury
fittings were in the second half of the room. The wardrobe
comprised two chipboard side panels and a piece nailed across
the top to keep them together. There was a clothes rail with
four rusty wire coat hangers and a small table with a mirror.
To the side of the bed was what had once been a shelf with
a drawer space below it, which had held a radio. Unfortunately
the shelf was hanging down at 45 degrees and all that remained
of the radio was some cable hanging out the wall. There was
a glass window and door leading to a tiny balcony and we had
two plastic garden chairs inside.
The bathroom was great; it was almost as big as one of the
rooms. There was a western toilet looking very lonely in the
corner with the lid askew, and beside it a tap with a jug
below it.
Very green at this stage, I thought this was to catch the
drips from the tap.
On the wall there was a large showerhead like a giant sunflower
and a big red bucket with another jug hanging on it. On the
wall to the right of the door was a sink, all very clean.
And as the pretty receptionist pointed out, they supplied
a toilet roll too. What more could we ask for?
I thought I would look at the two other rooms anyway. They
were both a third of the size of The English Eccentric Suite.
Back at reception I had a half-hearted haggle over the room
tariff. £3 per night, less if we stayed longer than
a week. I went outside to break the news to Brian. We had
arrived at the Ritz.
I was interested to see Brian's reaction. He was impressed.
We weren't to know it then, but Molyma was going to be one
of the best addresses we would have in the whole of our stay
in India.
We unpacked and showered before making our way back in to
Palolem.
I was first into the bathroom and turned on the taps to get
the shower going. Looking back I have to smile. Fancy thinking
anything would come out of the hot tap. In the four months
we stayed in India we had accommodation with hot water only
three times.
Not only was there no hot water, there wasn't really any sort
of water coming out of the showerhead. This was where the
big bucket apparently came in. This and the jug were the D.I.Y.
shower.
I felt much better after the wash. If I cleaned the two-day
build up of muck off my teeth I thought there was a chance
I might begin to feel human.
I came out of the bathroom feeling clean and shiny and handed
over to Brian.
The trellis was perfect for attaching our mozzy nets. Later
we used it to hang the water-boiling element to cool, and
it also came in useful as a washing line for my knickers.
We went down to the reception and asked them if we could rent
bicycles close by. The receptionist told us the way. As it
turned out, it was of course the long way round. Another indication,
not to ask an Indian the way anywhere.
At a ramshackle shop set back from the tarmac we bought a
bottle of drinking water and continued on our way. We decided
this must be the village of Kindlebag.
The bicycle man was not about and the shed in which we supposed
the bikes were stored was firmly shuttered. No one was about
to ask when he might be back so we walked on. We could just
make out stretches of golden sand peeping between the coconut
groves. We could see no way of reaching it but decided we
would try to explore another day. We turned about face and
headed for Palolem.
We could see beautifully coloured birds sitting up on the
branches of the palms. There were paddy fields to our right
and left and a deep stream with water buffalo wallowing happily.
Banks of red soil carried the railway tracks for the local
train. We could just make out the sign on the platform which
read: Canacona.
The three kilometre walk seemed to be taking an age and Palolem
was nowhere in sight. We reached a small community with two
small shops selling everything from bottled water to cooking
pots but more importantly there was a row of auto rickshaws
waiting for fares.
We took a rickshaw into Palolem, and the driver dropped us
off at the beach. Although only about 5.30 p.m. it was beginning
to turn dusky.
The road was lined with bamboo stalls and huts where it was
possible to buy sarongs, hippy-type clothing, bangles and
beads.
Most of these were staffed by very young Indian girls who
shouted: ``Looky, looky, come look at my things, good price
for you, you my friend.''
With smiles and shakes of the head we told them: `` Maybe
tomorrow.'
There was a cluster of open-air restaurants all of varying
degrees of desirability. There was also a tiny little fruit
and veg stall. Would I dare try it tomorrow or would I need
a bank loan?
On we walked, passing more huts and restaurants most of which
tended to be staffed by men wearing sarongs and vests that
were none too clean. Vests seemed to be a pretty big fashion
statement in India it made me think of my Dad, who is never
seen without one.
Eventually we reached the bicycle hire shop which we christened
' Joe's' after the cycle shop in our home village. It was
dark now but we could see that none of the bicycles was fitted
with lights.
`` Not necessary, not necessary'' said Joe.
We arranged to return in the morning.
Opposite the bike hire was a German bakery. This unlikely
addition to Palolem's culinary offerings comprised yet another
shed with a very happy hippy awning, mirrored lanterns and
an array of tables and chairs.
The place looked quite busy. The clientele were made up of
what we later came to call Big Issue Sellers. They reminded
us of the people seen in British streets selling the magazine
` The Big Issue '. Reputedly homeless and generally pretty
scruffy, their clothes resemble the faded outfit of a clown,
and their hair is generally matted or plaited. They have at
least three features on their faces pierced, chain smoke,
and are followed around by a mongrel dog often wearing a neckerchief.
The westerners that we had passed so far on our walk certainly
looked like BIS people. As they were wearing less clothing
we were able to see lots of other bits that they had pierced.
We decided we needed more than a German bun to eat so we walked
back to the restaurants and settled for a place called Moo
Moos.
It had an open-air Tandoori kitchen at the front and a regular
kitchen at the back. It was very busy and we were shown to
a table already occupied by one man. Being the anti-social
pair we are it was not an ideal situation, but hunger overcame
prejudice. This chap was dark and he looked like a Mexican
as he had a black shawl wrapped around him and a dark ponytail
streaked with grey. He was the double of Alan Rickman, the
actor, so of course he became known to us as Alan.
We need not have worried about Alan interrupting our conversation
as he mumbled `Hello,' gestured to his beer and indicated
that as soon as he had finished it he was leaving. He then
appeared to withdraw to another planet.
We ordered and then just watched every one and every thing
going on around us. It was a good job there was lots to see
as the food did not arrive for an hour and a half. We did
not feel the need to complain as we had far too much fun watching
everyone else do it.
At some point Alan had left us, we didn't even see him go.
We had stuck to vegetarian food feeling sure it was the best
way to avoid stomach trouble. When our food arrived we were
so hungry and it tasted so good that any chance of diahorrea
seemed a small price to pay for demolishing everything in
sight. Brian washed his food down with the local beer, Kingfisher.
He said it was foul but still managed to drink two large bottles.
In theory Indians are not supposed to drink alcohol but wherever
there were tourists there seemed to be a supply of it. There
was not a great deal of choice, Kingfisher, whisky or vodka
and a wine which I did try once but it was like strong sherry
and disgusting. Alcohol was very expensive in comparison to
food.
Back at the beach we found a driver who was just packing
up for the evening and we persuaded him to take us back to
the Molyma. The roads were pitch black and not even the moon
helped.
At the Molyma the doors were closed and an old sofa had been
pushed against them. We peeped in and on the sofa was the
doorman fast asleep. We managed to open the doors and creep
round the sofa and up to our room without waking him. Or perhaps
he was awake and thought Brian far too big a burglar to challenge.
Once in our room we began the intricate task of getting into
bed without pulling the mozzy net down.
I cleaned my teeth before hitting the sack but again forgot
to use bottled water. I would surely die this time. We climbed
into bed and put the fans on full blast. We laid back and
groaned with exhaustion. I looked at the fan directly above
us. It sounded like a helicopter and was rocking like a see-saw
and I nodded off thinking about the likelihood of decapitation
during the night.
A new day. We had slept like the dead and woke up feeling
fine.
We went out on to the balcony to take in the view. The short-range
outlook wasn't so good. We were at the back of the hotel and
all plastic rubbish and cans had been hurled out of the back
door where they made a large pile which was being closely
inspected by big black crows.
The crow must be the national bird of India as there are thousands
of the damn things where ever you go. I shouldn't think they
have ever shown the Alfred Hitchcock film 'The Birds' in this
country; no one would ever go out.
There is, to western eyes, a rather gruesome function for
crows in India. In Bombay stand the Parsee Towers of Silence.
Parsees hold fire, earth and water as sacred so they do not
bury their dead. Instead the bodies are laid out within the
towers to be picked clean by crows. Due to the construction
of new high-rise accommodation in that part of the city things
may have to change. The crows who are obviously scavenging
very well for themselves elsewhere, are too well fed and after
checking out the Tower of Silence restaurant, are dropping
the less tasty morsels on to the balconies of surrounding
homes.
Back to our balcony. Across a small field was a large elaborate
house. Outside in the garden and field we could watch children
playing, a family of dogs madly chasing each other and a battery
of chickens scratching about. Despite the opulence of the
building it clearly did not boast a lavatory. We saw a man
and a woman [who we had decided was grandma] come out and
have a squat down in the garden.
Breakfast called. Or more accurately, hunger told us to make
a move.
The hotel restaurant looked a bit inhospitable so we made
some enquiries at reception about a lift into Palolem. While
we waited for the hotel transport we asked about laundry and
were told to give it to the girl who cleaned the room .The
girl turned out to be girls. They were a picture, almost twins.
They both wore red check short-sleeved dresses with full skirts
and old fashioned pinafores. They had very long dark hair
and giggled constantly when spoken to. We gave them our laundry
and hoped for the best.
The hotel truck dropped us outside the bicycle shop where
we hired two brand new bicycles. They were very smart and
mine even had a basket on the front. These were going to cost
us about 90p a day for two. What a bargain.
We cycled off towards the beach and parked our bikes under
a palm tree outside the Palolem Beach resort. We were going
to have breakfast overlooking the ocean.
We sat in wicker chairs. I would like to say the waves breaking
on the shore were a beautiful blue but they were more murky
brown and not particularly enticing. The bay was quite stunning,
a broad crescent sweep of sand edged with swaying palm trees
and the odd tree house visible in the distance. But something,
and I was not sure what, was making it less than idyllic.
We ordered toast and tea and it arrived on, and in, a selection
of assorted crockery.
Brian had seen a barber's shop on the way down to the beach
so after we had eaten I stayed put and he took himself off
for his first Indian shave. His absence gave me time to ponder
on my feelings.
Palolem was more commercialised than I had at first thought,
especially along the beachfront. What it seemed to be was
a failed attempt at pleasing the foreigner, but it wasn't
commercial enough for the package tourist, not quaint enough
for the discerning traveller and not basic enough for the
hippies. Coupled with a murky ocean and a substantial amount
of litter the overall impression was one of tackiness. I did
not feel relaxed nor overcome by the beauty of the place nor
did I feel any sense of achievement because we had eventually
arrived there. The situation clearly required a great deal
more contemplation.
Brian was ages; I began to think that perhaps his throat
had been cut at the barber's. He finally returned after about
an hour and a half, he was full of the ecstasy of being given
a traditional shave. He said it was a great experience. At
30p we could afford to let him have this much pleasure every
day.
As we sat talking, a bird fell out of the tree we were sitting
under. Closer inspection revealed it was a dead fish. As the
sea was 50 yards away we thought this an unusual occurrence
and decided to move on before it rained more dead fish.
We made our way along the bay. It was approaching mid-day,
not the ideal time to be stripping off and exposing yourself
to the sun's rays. But Brian was undaunted and off came the
shorts and T-shirt. We had pitched ourselves quite close to
a thatched shack cum bar called Ciarans. [a good Irish name.]
It was part of a small commune of bamboo huts which were rented
as accommodation.
The huts were set on a large square area of sand with a row
of washbasins standing in the centre. There was also a small
toilet block which housed four extremely clean sit-down lavatories.
From the outside it looked like the Portaloos you see at football
matches.
Ciarans was one of many places, which at this stage of our
journey caused us to raise an eyebrow in a slightly derogatory
fashion. It was also one of the places we thought of often,
later on the trip, wishing we could find accommodation as
inviting as those huts and washing facilities.
A plus factor to sitting on the sand in the proximity of Cairans
was the availability of those loos. Also it was a quick sprint
up the molten beach for a cup of 'chai'. The down side was
the sporadic bursts of music of dubious quality and the fact
it was as old as me.
The Eagles, Santana, Bob Dylan the most recent tapes being
the Human League of 20 years ago. It was like being back in
Ibiza in the Seventies. As the day wore on, and presumably
the hangovers wore off, younger people started to drift into
Ciarans.
There was a large Israeli contingent, both boys and girls.
It was quite easy to imagine the girls doing their National
Service, wielding machine guns and so forth, but the boys
had earrings and braids and beads in their hair, and spent
most of the days juggling and wafting around ribbons on sticks.
They seemed a nice crowd and in such a small place we bumped
into them constantly. They always smiled and said hello.
The British and German patrons were something else. The younger
set were either scruffy, pierced everywhere, hung over or
drugged up. The older people were grossly overweight, tattooed,
scruffy, and also hung over.
As these people hadn't arrived on package holidays and therefore
had used their initiative to arrive at Palolem, signifying
they had a brain, this meant they might be dangerous. We thought
that there was a strong possibility that they would not be
averse to robbery if they ran out of money.
It certainly was not very New Age or Hippy in this part of
Goa. More Old Age and mucky.
Before our skin began to bubble in the heat we packed our
belongings, collected our bikes and made for the German Bakery.
The bread and cakes were in an ancient cabinet which had a
glass front and mesh doors on the back. The Nepalese boys
who staffed the place did not understand the function of the
mesh and glass and had perfected a technique of keeping the
flies in the cabinet instead of out. We were unable to tell
which was currant cake and which a resting place for flies.
We settled for tea.
As we sat drinking our tea we were looking around and eaves-
dropping on as many conversations as possible. Sitting almost
next to us were identical Irish twin girls. They were about
5'2'' with black hair in shoulder length bobs, very pale complexions
and round bottle bottomed lens glasses. Their dresses were
the same style but different patterns and they would have
been mid-twenties.
A tall thin slightly balding chap, possibly German, managed
to strike up a conversation with the girls. He then slid himself
across to a seat on their table. He sounded a bit of a smart
arse out to impress.
They were all getting on quite well and having a deep conversation
about literature when the poor sod was stupid enough to disagree
with them over an issue. They systematically tore him apart.
They were like two very bossy unsmiling dolls. After this
initial disagreement it did not seem to matter what this chap
had to say. They were going for the kill. No raised voices,
just death by verbal acid. He fairly slithered out of the
place, and when he left it was as if he had never been there.
The girls uttered not one syllable in reference to him but
just carried on eating. We thought they were very spooky and
christened them the Spooky twins.
As we were about to pedal back to the Molyma we saw Dave
and Anouk coming along the road. They asked us if we wanted
to go with them in the morning to see the dolphins. They had
inquired about hiring a big canoe and paddling off early to
have a look at the wildlife. How could we tell such a lovely
pair who were clearly crackers about wildlife that we would
find dolphin watching about as interesting as soggy toast.
So of course we agreed to go. We didn't want to look like
Philistines, did we?
Back at the Molyma while I was showering, I heard excited
yells from our balcony. I paddled out to see Brian pointing
at loads of monkeys swinging from the trees. They were big,
probably about 4ft tall, skinny with goldy beige fur, black
hands, feet and faces, and black tips on their very long tails.
We sat and watched them for a little while but I was conscious
of the time. It became dark early and very quickly and by
seven o'clock it was pitch black. We were going to cycle into
town and I wanted to go while it was still light. I had just
gone back to the bathroom when Brian started yelling again,
this time: ``Eagle, eagle!'' There was indeed an eagle and
it was beautiful. Chestnut brown with white wing tips and
head.
We watched it each day during our stay, wheeling and diving,
but surprisingly he was unable to fight off the army of crows
when it came to tasty tit bits. They won every time.
During our two weeks at Molyma we had our money's worth out
of our balcony. Morning and evening we watched the monkeys
and eagle. We watched the children from the big house playing
cricket in the paddy fields with their mum standing in for
the bowler.
We watched the children going off to school and the water
buffalo searching the rubbish below for food. And of course
we kept a check on the bowel movements of the family opposite.
It was different from Holmfirth.
We just about made it back to Palolem before dusk fell and
we went to Moo Moos again. After dinner we spotted a telephone
shop.
Throughout India there are hordes of booths, shops, front
rooms and shops within shops that offer telephone facilities.
Only the major cities have coin box telephones. We assumed
that there was such a huge requirement for this type of enterprise
because few homes have phones.
The majority don't have water or electricity.
As the call is made the number dialled shows up on a display
screen. If it is an international call the shopkeeper smiles
widely as he knows he is going to make a load of cash. After
the call is made a machine clicks into action and churns out
enough paper to print out the National Debt and bring on a
heart attack while waiting for the total cost.
As I walked past the phone booth I had an overwhelming desire
to phone home. I explained to Brian, feeling rather pathetic,
and he said:' ``Well, if it will make you feel better.''
So I called. Mum was really surprised to hear me and in the
age-old cliché said ``The line is so clear you sound
as if you are just down the road.''
Mum and Dad were both well and that was about it. I promised
we would keep in touch and rang off feeling much happier.
It was now very dark but there were bicycles flying about,
all without lights. The odd vehicle with headlights and a
few mopeds and scooters were on the roads. But it was pitch
dark 500 yds out of the village.
Brian was not the best cyclist in the world; he wobbled and
swerved to avoid potholes, regardless of who or what was behind
him. As he pedalled along with a torch in his hand while holding
on to the handlebars and more importantly the brakes, he produced
an erratic beam of torchlight that would have better served
a landing aircraft than cyclist. Brian was cycling in front
and we decided the best place for the torch was his mouth.
This meant I could nag and moan incessantly and he could not
say a thing. The few Indian pedestrians we passed either stared
in disbelief or screamed with laughter.
We left Molyma early in the morning to meet David and Anouk.
We passed the e-mail place, and for once there wasn't a queue
so we dived in hoping to send a message home.
I am the e-mail typist and Brian is the technical support
so sending e-mail is very much a joint effort. I typed the
letter and then Brian tried to send it, but it was taking
an age to get on line so I pedalled off down the road to meet
David and Anouk.
When everyone arrived Anouk was dispatched to locate the captain
of our canoe. Duly mustered we assembled on the beach to board
our craft. It was a large piece of hollowed out wood with
what appeared to be bicycle stabilizers sticking out of either
side and an outboard engine strapped to the back.
Alongside was a similar vessel. On board were a Japanese
man and his wife and in true Japanese fashion he was loaded
down with an arsenal of camera equipment. And who climbed
in behind them?
The Spooky Twins. They sat together in the bow, hands clasped
in their laps, faces unsmiling and glasses glinting in the
early morning sunlight.
We headed out to sea. Everyone on board was straining their
eyes to catch a glimpse of the dolphins, except Brian and
me. But we were trying very hard to look interested.
`` Dolphins! Dolphins!'' shouted the skipper.
We both had our eyes glued to the Japanese chap waiting for
him to drop one of his cameras into the sea. After a very
uninteresting 20 minutes in which we spotted the odd dolphin's
back disappearing under the waves, we chugged off to a little
place called Butterfly Cove. This sounded more like it; a
little bit of deserted beach with lots of butterflies. Lovely.
As we approached this very small sandy inlet with a scrubby
bit of woodland behind it, we were not upset that Anouk had
requested that we be picked up in an hour as she was suffering
with sunburn. Not only did it look a rather a grotty grotto
but, unbelievably there were big black clouds in the sky.
Both canoes dropped their passengers off and we waded to the
beach. Butterfly Cove. Ha! More like Ravens' Retreat.
We huddled up on a towel on the beach watching the crows dive-bomb
the masses of rubbish strewn everywhere. They must have eaten
the butterflies. The Spooky sisters sat together and looked
out to sea and Mr. and Mrs. Japan carried on taking pictures
of everything and anything. We were glad to see the boats
return.
We spent the rest of the day on the beach at Palolem chatting
to David and Anouk. They were both really nice. As is the
case in this type of situation you swap life histories and
I always feel so uncomfortable afterwards. It is a feeling
that you have said far too much or more than you intended
to.
We spent a pleasant afternoon and arranged to meet them for
dinner at an Italian restaurant in the village recommended
by an Italian. He said he had never eaten such good pasta
outside Rome.
We arrived promptly but David and Anouk had not yet arrived.
We declined a drink but did ask to see the menu. It was most
confusing. The sign outside said 'Italian' but the menu didn't
contain a hint of pasta. We pointed this out to the waiter
who then told us the Italian restaurant was round the back.
We made our way through the undergrowth and there were our
dining companions. Anouk was very slim yet had the capacity
to eat for Holland. She did, however, have a problem that
evening which was evident from the roll of toilet paper she
had brought with her. It was amazing how quickly we were able
to accept a toilet roll as the centrepiece of a table setting.
Indian lavatories do not come with a supply of toilet paper.
Indians prefer to use a hand, one reserved for the purpose;
the other is exclusively for eating. A tap is usually positioned
next to the lavatory at knee level. One can only assume that
if a toilet has neither paper nor water, which is not uncommon,
the Indians as well as everyone else really are in the shit.
Back to dinner. Despite her problem Anouk , rather than giving
her stomach a chance of recovery, ate as much as she could
and awaited the consequences. It was like reversed bulimia.
The food really did taste excellent. Fresh bread, home-made
pasta but it was swimming in oil.
We paid the bill and departed for the German bakery to sample
cakes and rice pudding.
Anouk fell by the wayside after half a sticky bun [with either
a currant or fly topping,] and five minutes later both she
and David hastily departed for their room and toilet, which
thankfully were close by.
Brian cleared up any remaining sweetmeats.
I was awoken the next morning with a cup of tea, which impressed
me greatly. Despite my lavish compliments and wishes for it
to continue throughout the trip, it never happened again unless
I suggested it.
We decided on an alternative route into Palolem which would
hopefully take us to Canacona, also known as Chaudi, the nearby
village. We had certainly chosen the right day to visit as
it turned out to be market day.
Chaudi resembled a shantytown. Ramshackle buildings in various
states of repair with bicycles, rubbish, and cows everywhere.
The place was fairly teaming with life. Wizened little old
ladies in saris sat together in groups. They had wide flat
circular dishes in front of them, piled high with a multitude
of different produce, chilli peppers, spices, jasmine flowers
and garlands, onions and green vegetables. Surprisingly the
fruit looked terrible. Oranges were crinkly and discoloured
and the apples were not really recognisable.
There was a profusion of grapes, my favourite fruit, but I
was not going to risk eating them. I was not prepared to sit
and peel a kilo of the things or soak them in iodine solution
to make them safe. We decided on a coconut and purchased one
from a fellow who seemed to have bought his entire family
to the market with him. Wife, mum, and children were all sitting
on the floor surrounded by their merchandise. This really
was a farmers' market and we could tell it was the big event
of the week. Everyone came into town with their produce and
then bought the things they needed from the shops and other
traders round about.
We located a tiny shop selling fabric and bought quite a
few metres of brightly coloured cotton to make some trousers
for both Brian and me. We asked the owner how much it would
cost us to have them made and he said less than £1.
We became so excited we bought the fabric for two long jackets
as well. The manager of the shop summoned the tailor who duly
arrived on a bicycle; we later found his shop, which was a
small wooden garden shed behind the bus stand.
Pushing our bikes we walked up to the main road and into
the part of the market selling pots and pans, knickers, hair
ornaments and anything else we could think of. I bought a
steel teapot so we didn't have to brew up in our tin mugs,
and two steel plates for our beach picnics. The teapot lasted
the duration of the trip but the plates were short lived as
they went rusty when Brian constantly scoured them with the
outrageously expensive Boy Scout knife he had received as
a Christmas present. After the excitement of the shopping
frenzy we asked directions to the post office.
We were just about to pedal off when we were hailed by a
western man standing at the side of the road. He was very
tall and thin with fair hair. He had a nice face but if he
had not been a lovely golden brown I suspect he would have
looked in need of a good meal.
His clothes were clean but. His old brown brogues had numerous
patches. He had the air of a seasoned traveller, a Lawrence
of Arabia type.
He asked us if we knew the way to the post office. We explained
we were on our way there and he asked us if we would post
his cards. We said we would be happy to. This, of course,
enabled me to sit outside the post office and read them all.
Nosey cow, aren't I?
We learned that he had been travelling for years. He had sent
a note of thanks to one friend acknowledging receipt of £30.
Heaven knows how he was surviving, and some of the cards were
quite sad.
We spent a ridiculous 20 minutes trying to stick stamps on
our postcards without actually licking them. We used a couple
of methods; spitting in our hand and dunking the stamp or
spitting at the stamp. Football had qualified Brian to be
far better at spitting than me. The stamps' cheap glue and
thin paper could not cope with the vast amount of moisture
we were directing at them and we rendered half the stamps
useless.
This postal pastime was later dispensed with as I decided
we were far more likely to die from a number of other factors
before death by stamp glue.
Loaded down with our purchases we merrily pedalled off to
Palolem and on the way came across David and Anouk on a motor
scooter. Their primary destination was a wild life sanctuary
about half an hour away. Now there was a surprise! Guess who
won't be pedalling off there, then?
Brian was going to have another shave and so I thought I would
make a few purchases from the fruit and veg shop. A young
boy was serving and to his right sat an old man using the
top of a small table as the till. He was the cashier.
Behind him lurked an enormous Indian woman. Mountains of bare
wobbling midriff protruded between her sari top and skirt,
long greasy hair was scraped back roughly into a hair clip,
and her big bovine eyes stared out from a face that was predominantly
gums and a few teeth. She looked a little crazy. I bought
bananas and a pineapple, and as I went to pay for them Mrs
Mad noticed my earring.
Before I left home I had an earring made by a jeweller friend.
As I am a lover of dragons and Star Trek it was fashioned
both after a dragon which circled my ear and then protruded
on to my cheek and also in the style of a facial decoration
worn by Seven of Nine, a Borg character in Star Trek. This
earpiece had already created interest and it had been great
fun watching people's reaction to it.
Mrs Mad was in love with it. She called every member of her
family within hailing distance to look. Fortunately she turned
out to be the only gummy and dribbly one; otherwise it would
have been quite a frightening experience. I was offered all
manner of exchanges for it, manky oranges, pineapples, and
my weight in bananas. Each time I visited from then on she
came out to look, beckoning me to come closer and pointing
madly at her ear. It proved beneficial as soon I was being
given discount on purchases and eventually was allowed to
go into an adjoining room to the shop, which housed fruit
waiting to ripen, and the family beds. From this privileged
position I was allowed to pick the best fruit.
On one visit, as I stood waiting to be served, feeling very
much at home, I watched and listened to the gentleman being
served in front of me. He was perhaps 6ft tall and wearing
a white dhoti and clean white shirt. He was balding but the
hair that remained was silver. He was perhaps mid sixties
and very brown like an Indian. He seemed to be speaking Hindi
to the amusement of the mad clan and it was evident that this
fellow was neither impressed by the quality of the merchandise
nor the prices he was being charged. I leaned against the
side of the stall smiling stupidly but as this man picked
up his purchases he rounded on me with such a tirade of rhetoric
that my jaw was left swinging open. As he delivered a lecture
to me it became evident from his accented English that he
was German.
He told me that it was fine for me, coming along paying these
stupid prices. I hadn't got a clue what I was doing. I was
buying poor goods, paying far too much for them, and I thought
it was a big joke. Had I any idea how difficult I made it
for people who lived there? Laughing and joking with these
people was not the done thing. Show them who is boss. Do not
let them make idiots of us all.
Well, there we had it then. A bad tempered German who thought
all Indians were thieving peasants and I was an idiot. But
how we came to remember his words and reflect on the truth
of them.
I made my way down to the beach as Brian and I were going
to meet at Ciarans . I pushed the bike and thought I could
do a bit of shack gazing and look at the wares for sale along
the roadside. It was inevitable that I would be hassled and
encouraged to visit each and every stall. We had shouted at
all the stallholders from the safety of our bicycles, saying
we would visit their stalls 'tomorrow, tomorrow.' So today
was the day.
One persistent young lady took my arm and all but dragged
me into her hut. There was nothing I wanted but the sales
pitch went from: ``Just look at my lovely things'' to ``I
make good price for you, you are my friend'' to `` please
buy, you must buy, I have no money, I have no food'' and so
on. I escaped eventually, but not before I had sat down cross-legged
on the floor and listened to her life story.
Her name was Ranouka and she was thirteen. She was spindly
and slightly built. She had a pretty face and the customary
dangly earrings and adornments. She wore a brightly coloured
sari top and knee-length full skirt and several toe rings.
Ranouka had travelled from a neighbouring state. She had lodgings
quite a distance from the town and each day she walked to
her stall carrying her merchandise on her head.
The story went on to encompass wicked uncles, arranged marriages
and, having forgotten that she had previously mentioned her
parents, she now added that she was an orphan. The tale grew
ever more fantastic and while I had been full of wonder and
admiration at the start I was becoming bored and insulted
that she thought I might believe this load of drivel.
Poor Ranuka seemed astounded when I got up to leave, but she
had nothing I liked enough to carry around in my luggage for
the next three months, regardless of her personal problems.
We lazed about on the beach for the rest of the day. I was
conscious of the leisure time we had, and the inadequate amount
of reading material I had been able to bring with me, so I
limited the amount I read each day.
I had taken a copy of a book called ``End the struggle and
Dance with Life'' to the beach. It claimed to show the way
to build yourself up when the world gets you down.
I would read it out to Brian and then we would have discussions
or arguments on the contents. It was a great book and there
were certainly some excellent points made in it and good advice
given. One particular story inspired me every day.
A Tibetan lama once crossed the Himalayas on foot during
the Chinese occupation of his country. When asked how he managed
such a difficult journey, he answered: ''That's simple. One
step at a time.''
When I cycled back to the Molyma I thought of the monk as
I started to pedal up the last hill. Most people got off their
bikes and walked but when I pedalled up and it became really
hard going I just kept thinking, one more push, and another,
and before I knew it I would be at the top.
Another saying was: All his life a man struggles to reach
the top of the ladder, and finally he does - only to discover
it's leaning against the wrong wall. Ain't that the truth?
We thoroughly enjoyed reading the book and we made it last
for the duration of the trip.
We had also taken along a pack of Tarot cards. We had never
had the time to study them, but now we had.
After reading, discussion and analysis followed by a snooze,
we packed up our towels and left over snacks, and headed back
to the town. When we returned to our bikes mine had a flat
tyre, so Brian cycled ahead and sat in the German Bakery while
I walked to Joe's cycle shop for a tyre change. Such a gent.
Joe, two of his workers and several locals had a great deal
of discussion over the tyre. I was given a chair in the middle
of the yard until a conclusion to the problem could be reached.
The town's specialist tyre fitter arrived, more discussion
ensued, and after about an hour I had a new tyre, inflated
and ready to go.
At the Molyma we washed and changed and set off back to Palolem
in the dusky light, Brian in the lead. We had experienced
a number of power cuts already. They were not total blackouts,
a restaurant may lose its lighting and the shop across the
road may not or vice versa.
Molyma had cuts quite early in the morning, which affected
the brew up, and early evening, which meant we had no fan
and the room soon became stifling. On this particular evening
we had no road lights.
We took an alternative route running through a paddy field.
It was picturesque during the day, but at night there were
swarms of midges and mozzies. Keeping them out of our face
and eyes was a major problem. The new route was a little hilly
but we felt that the added exercise would do us no harm.
On the crest of the final hill stood a small hotel. Outside
it displayed a bulletin board and menu and Brian stopped to
have a look. I on the other hand, having finally made it to
the top, didn't feel inclined to stop and carried on pedalling,
calling out to him as I passed by.
Over the crest was a small settlement of houses and as I reached
the bottom of the decline my attention was drawn to the opposite
side of the road where I could just make out a group of youths.
At that instant a motor scooter rounded the bend towards me.
I was momentarily distracted by the headlight and decided
for some strange reason to swerve to the left. I had not taken
into consideration the largest tree in Goa which, as they
say in all the best insurance claims, jumped out and hit me.
I went headfirst into the trunk of the tree, my teeth actually
rattled in my mouth as my head collided with the bark. I didn't
fall off. I just sort of parked the bike in the tree roots.
I was a bit dazed and as I put my hand to my face was unable
to believe my nose was not broken nor was my forehead pouring
with blood. I was so amazed I was euphoric. By the time Brian
came down the hill and saw what had happened I was just standing
there saying: I can't believe it. I can't believe I am O.K.''
We remounted the bikes and pedalled slowly into Palolem and
by the time we arrived I had quite a lump growing on my head.
We went straight to the restaurant where I sat in slight shock.
I still could not believe it was possible to hit something
so hard and come away with so little damage. Brian decided
I should have a glass of wine, which was the second experience
of the night I could have done without. Goan wine was dreadful,
instant headache material, although the tree could have had
something to do with it.
Understandably I was not keen to cycle home but we did not
have much alternative. We didn't go in search of Double Dutch
on their last night but we felt confident we would find them
the next day to say goodbye.
The next morning I awoke to a greenish-purple lump on the
forehead and stiff grazed fingers which I must have caught
on the tree. Other than that I was fine. I was so pleased
it had happened to me and not to Brian. If he had knocked
himself out I don't know what I would have done out there
in the dark.
We set off early to look for Dave and Anouk. We met them
on our way for breakfast and they agreed to find us at Ciarans
when they had finished their packing.
We had breakfast of tea and toast overlooking the sea and
were soon joined by Dave and Anouk. We did all the things
folk do in that situation, exchanged addresses and so on.
In this age of the e-mail promises to keep in touch are more
likely to be kept. Brian insisted there was a tear in my eye
when they left, and God knows why, but he was right.
We spent the rest of the day discussing the sense of delaying
our return home. We seemed to have a great deal to see and
do, and a lot of land to cover in the remaining ten weeks.
We had been in India a fortnight already.
We decided to e-mail Odette at Bridge the World in London,
and ask her if she could change our flight tickets from Madras
to Delhi for a later departure. Odette had been our contact
at Bridge the World, a specialist travel agency. We were introduced
to them when we visited an independent Travellers Exhibition
at the G. Mex centre in Manchester. They seemed to offer excellent
prices on worldwide flights and all their staff, none of whom
looked more than 20 years old, were a mine of information.
We later found out that in order to be employed by this company
you must have travelled around the world at least twice. Odette
had a Sloane Ranger accent and her conversations were liberally
sprinkled with lovies and darlings. She was very down to earth
and had an excellent sense of humour. It was Odette who said:
``If you can master and survive India, darlings, the rest
of the world is a piece of cake''
Odette must have had an off day when we e-mailed her. Instead
of changing the dates on our tickets she had reserved a further
two tickets on the dates we had requested.
We eventually tried the 'travel hut' on the main street in
Palolem. Unfortunately the agent could not help us as our
tickets would need to be taken in to Margao to be altered
and the process took three days.
We did not think we would be in Palolem that long.
We had stayed longer than we had originally expected but lethargy
and the great unknown had weakened our resolve. The agent
assured us, however that we would be able to change our air
tickets at the next major town we visited.
Palolem was becoming quieter and the trades people and restaurants
were none too happy. The Millennium had not brought hordes
of revellers or even the normal amount of travellers. It was
our good fortune in terms of available accommodation and prices.
We had walked along to the far end of the bay during the afternoon
and were amused to find a small band of westerners performing
Yoga exercises. They were so affected and they were really
funny to watch.
Thousands of tiny crabs joined this assortment of folk on
the beach. Walking through them was a strange experience.
They avoided us. We did not avoid them.
Unusually for us, our spirit of adventure and curiosity had
deserted us. Normally we would walk the length of a beach
and then climb rocks and scramble around headlands in search
of a secluded spot. We hadn't been tempted on this bay. I
blamed the heat. The thought of the effort and finding no
shade along the way was all too much. When we finally packed
up after a hard day of crab and people watching, we headed
for the German Bakery and one or another of their strange
brews.
The Spooky Twins were in residence eating enough for six,
a Dutch chap had joined them and we happily sat and eaves-dropped
on their conversation yet again.
They were leaving for Ireland the next day and moaning incessantly
about India, even complaining that they missed the stress
of everyday life at home. The brave fellow in their company
finally stood up and told them in no uncertain terms that
' life is what you make it '.
That night we had a change from our usual eating-place and
went to a place recommended by our Dutch friends. No wonder
they became ill. The glasses were dirty, and we were able
to watch the chef wipe his work surface with a cloth the colour
of coal dust. For good measure he gave a good hawk and a spit
to the side of his cooking range. I went to wash my hands
and found that the lavatory was unusable and the sink was
blocked with filthy water.
We had already ordered and the place was really busy, so we
sat tight and I prayed. The meal arrived and my throat just
did not want to swallow my food. Brian troughed on regardless.
I watched a couple on the next table. The man looked the worse
for drink, unless it was the onset of terminal food poisoning
that was causing him to slur and hang his face two inches
from his plate. His companion had a mountain of rice on one
plate and something else on another. She was shovelling it
in like a high-speed train eating up rail track, so clearly
did not have the hygiene concerns that I did.
We took a stroll through the village and one little place
seemed busy, probably something to do with a television set
sitting in the middle of the yard. There were empty seats
within viewing distance so we went in.
A boy in the usual uniform of dirty vest and skirt gave us
a menu, but he seemed pleasant enough. Brian had a beer and
I had tea. I glanced around at an assortment of men of different
ages and nationalities, all glued to the television. I don't
know what it is, but when we go away I become a T.V. addict.
Brian, who would watch television at home all day, is totally
uninterested in it while travelling.
This little T.V. haven was next door to the e-mail hut; the
proprietor even served coffee or tea to the people who were
queuing to use the computers. This was perfect. Brian sat
himself down with the people waiting to go on line, and I
sat mouth hanging open, staring intently at the screen, watching
an adventure film about an impossibly huge crocodile that
was eating up half of America.
We both made new acquaintances. I chatted with a strange
little man from Switzerland. He was about 5ft tall, with few
teeth and sparse but long straggly hair. He was quite pale
although he had been in India for three months. We sat in
front of the telly and commiserated with each other when there
was a power cut or the picture was not too good or when the
film was terrible, but none of these things stopped us avidly
staring at the screen.
Brian and I would have our main meal in Moo Moos and then
head off for tea, a beer and a chocolate and coconut pancake
in front of the T.V. Immediately the pancake was dispatched
Brian would go next-door leaving me to sip my tea and enjoy.
It was my new friend, the Swiss man, who gave us yet another
truism although we were not aware of his wisdom at the time.
He said he had travelled around most of India in his lifetime
and, although Palolem had its faults, it was better than just
about anywhere he had visited. He said: `` Don't go so far
that you can't get back here.''
We were a little concerned to think that this was as good
as it was going to get on our trip, and the route we were
set on taking meant we couldn't go back.
Brian's new friend, found at the e-mail queue, he was about
6ft 4ins, slim and tanned, and had long flowing grey hair,
a gaunt face and kind eyes. He wore the typical Indian pilgrim
outfit of long linen shirt and baggy trousers and traditional
sandals, and topped it all off with a staff in his hand.
We had seen him walking along the beach like a prophet and
I had said to Brian: ``There's you in another 20 years' or
``Here's your dad.'' He turned out to be another Dutch Physiologist.
Why were we attracting these analyst types?
Brian would recount the stories that Johan [The Prophet]
had told him and the in-depth discussions the two of them
had while waiting for their turn on the computer. They seemed
to enjoy themselves sitting on the little bench drinking coffee
in the yard of the email shack. I wasn't sure whether their
liaison came to an end because Johan gave us poor information
with regard to the full moon [big event in Goa] or because
in true social worker fashion he thought it time to share
with Brian the fact he was gay. Either way Brian seemed to
show a renewed interest in watching yet another re-run of
Mel Gibson in Brave Heart.
We had intended to leave Palolem within the next couple of
days but Johan had told Brian that it was The Full Moon in
two days' time. He said it was not to be missed as the waves
were huge and came crashing on to the shore, and that the
fishing boats would be pulled high up on the beach to avoid
them being damaged. He also said it would be wonderful to
sit out at one of the bars at the furthermost reaches of the
bay and watch the sea and the moon. We had no doubt he would
also be smoking a joint. Well, we weren't too bothered about
smoking anything strange. We were having enough experiences
drinking tea and water, but we did like the sound of his suggestion.
The Full Moon also explained why everything had gone quiet
in Palolem. It seemed that the old hands had migrated farther
north to Anjuna where the really heavy Full Moon rave parties
took place. Sex, drugs and rock and roll - or more likely
sand and vomit. I was definitely over the hill for that type
of carry-on and even Brian, when he gave it some thought,
decided that imagining what it may be like could be more exciting
than being there. We decided we would wait for the full moon
in Palolem and then take ourselves off to our next port of
call, which was to be Gokarna.
During the next couple of days we busied ourselves with visiting
the tailor's shop in Chaudi to collect our clothes and making
sure the two giggling room maids had returned all our laundry.
{They had been brilliant during our stay. Items were washed
and returned for 10p each. The room was kept clean and we
always had clean towels, bedding and a supply of toilet rolls.]
I had managed a further bike incident on the way home one
evening.
It was an Isadora Duncan variation. I had worn a wrap round
skirt which had tangled itself in the cycle chain. The bike
ground to a halt with a ripping noise. Brian came back from
the lead as he heard my yells back in the distance. I returned
to Molyma in a very revealing mini skirt.
We cycled home on yet another evening via Chaudi, which did
not turn out to be one of our better moves, all the dogs in
the town chased us and it certainly made for our quickest
cycling time from Palolem to Molyma.
The day before the full moon, Palolem was really quiet. This
was, I am sure, one of the reasons that the first complete
prat of our trip approached us.
We were drinking tea in Ciarans at lunchtime when the chap
we had seen in the lousy restaurant, the one who had been
worse for wear, decided he wanted to chat. He was an Australian
plumber and bored us with the biggest load of twaddle. He
tried to convince us he had lived in Thailand where he taught
the Thais kickboxing. He even implied that he had represented
Thailand at competition level. By the looks of him, that seemed
about as likely as saying that Ivana Trump always shopped
at Oxfam. We named him Jean Claude van Dope and did our best
to avoid him from then on.
We went to Moo Moos that night and the waiter mentioned he
had wanted to go to Anjuna for the full moon party that night
but his boss wouldn't let him.
That night? It was supposed to be tomorrow surely? Not so.
Brian had made a booby.
As a full moon in an open-air restaurant is something you
can't really fail to see, we enjoyed it while we ate and then
rushed to the beach to see the crashing waves. They must have
had the wrong night, too.
The breakers we saw would have looked big only to something
very small, such as an ant. Johan must have been taking drugs.
The next evening, our last in Palolem, I made Brian pay the
price for his cock-up. We went on to the roof of the Molyma
where we were alone apart from half a mile of washing line,
and I made Brian Moon the Moon. I declared it a special Irish
Full Moon Party; those were the parties you held the day after
a Full Moon. He had his revenge.
The photo I took of him didn't come out.
The next morning we had to be up early. The bus we needed
to catch left Chaudi at 7.30 a.m. We were travelling to Gokarna,
town of the temples and chanting pilgrims, via God alone knew
where.
Goodbye Palolem. Goodbye Molyma.
(Printable
version here)

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