I'm Not Waving, I'm Drowning! - November 2001

It amazes me how some people can exist without caring, really caring.

Their lives revolve around shallowness and there concern for others and for the world in general is motivated solely by self interest and self satisfaction. Is this what really makes the world go round?

Surely there is more to life than just 'going through the motions' and trampling over others just to fulfill their own needs. Be it in personal life or their chosen careers it is the end result that matters rather than who it hurts or how it affects others.

Sometimes I despair at the ignorance that people show in an effort to make their lives easier, the lengths they are prepared to go to satify their own ambitions.
Do these people not have scruples, a conscience, an awareness that their actions can profoundly affect the people that come into contact with?
Do they not realise that they may be missing the fundamental reason for their existence?

Wht were we given five senses? I am of the opinion that we were gifted theses in order to appreciate all that is around us, that we should take our time and use them. Sound, sight, smell, touch and taste. They are gifts and yet we rarely take the time to utilise them, appreciate them and savour them like a fine wine.

Perhaps individuals subconsciously subdue the optimal utilisation of the senses because they have a lemming-like attitude to life and are afraid that stopping to take in what is around them would only serve to make their humdrum existence even more intolerable.

Or perhaps certain individuals have not got the innate ability to actually use their senses to their full capabilities or are satisfied with their lot.
But is this not a waste?
A waste of their abilities?

Or perhaps it may be contrued as being a crime, for around the next corner there may be an opportunity to experience or share something that may change their lives, in a positive way, forever.

Is this you? Is the life you lead really fulfilling, does it nurture your very soul?

Why do I ask?
I recently had a growth removed from my leg and it was discovered to be cancerous.
That in itself did not worry me and I have since been informed that the removal of the growth also removed the cancer and there is almost no chance that it will re-occur.

But the discovery and subsequent contemplation until my doctor could find time to explain the facts properly to me only served to reinforce my philosophy of appreciation even more!

I have always had an appreciation of my surroundings, albeit positive or negative. And I also have the ability to contemplate in depth about these surroundings.
But even I sometimes relax and let the appreciation take a back seat until something profound brings it into prominence again.
Well recent events have served to sharpen the appreciation and keep it on the surface of my consciousness. And there it shall stay.

As for the depression, well I am still there, down in the depths. Unfortunately I cannot expand upon this because my words can, and are, being misconstrued or taken out of context and I feel that this is a betrayal of my openness and candour.
There is always someone who would take advantage of anothers weaknesses - what a shame!