Neil’s Story
Thought I'd give you the low-down on my children, Sam &
Jack.
Sam and Laura
 Sam
was born 3 months premature and perfectly OK, he was a twin.
My daughter Laura was sadly stillborn. Sam was born 2 lb 4
oz, Laura’s weight less than 1 lb, she was very under developed
i.e. all major organs. Had she been born alive, she would
have suffered tremendously and met the same fate.
When she was in the womb basically she went to sleep. I find
great peace in this. She did not suffer. She was properly
cremated; again I find great peace in this. Business was finished
with dignity.
The first 2 weeks Sam was fine, and then the tragedy happened.
He contracted Pneumonia, his lungs collapsed, he was critically
ill for 2 weeks. Every day we nearly lost him. Somewhere in
this time his brain was damaged.
After 2 days of him being critically ill, we were taken to
a room to be told that Sam had a good chance of having Cystic
Fibrosis. We had it explained that it would take 2/3 weeks
to get the results. We were told all about this horrific illness,
Physiotherapy every 4 hours, poor quality of life, no cure
and the fact that if it stayed so acute a heart lung transplant.
I thank God, what I face every day is NOTHING compared to
this.
By the time the results came back, Sam had just started to
recover and the results were negative. Even in my dark time
I took comfort in the fact he did not have this.
24 Stable Hours.
It was incredible Sam had gone 24 stable hours. Then the unthinkable
happened to Sam, who was now conscious and off the ventilator.
Around his tummy became purple and distended, while he was
critically ill they’d given him steroids, the side effects
caused a perforation to his bowl.
He was rushed down for emergency surgery. He still has a very
long scar on his tummy. The strange thing is, he recovered
like nothing had happened. At the start of him being ill I
saw him go from OK to full respiratory failure in 20 minutes,
I saw him return as quick and its the closest thing to a miracle
I’ve ever seen.
Again he survived, I say again I’m so fortunate.
 Sam
is an IVF baby (test tube). Doctors paint it as the cure for
childless couples and it is. The consequences when things
go wrong can be unthinkable.
They tell you when you start out its a 1 in 4 success rate.
The statistic is accurate. 4 eggs were implanted, 2 took,
1 made it. I bear no ill will to the doctors; I made the decision
knowing things could be a little awkward (not as awkward as
they turned out). They say what happened to us was one in
a million.
The disturbing thing is when we adopted Jack we had to go
on a course, virtually everyone there had a horror story of
IVF usually the babies were miscarried.
Are doctors playing Frankenstein with such a valuable thing,
I pray not?
For 18 months I beat myself up thinking I’d failed everybody.
I felt
that just sitting there watching, wasn’t enough. I should
have done more. A kind man dragged me from what I was doing
to myself, by pointing out I wasn’t a doctor and there was
nothing I could have done.
My life changed, I chose to make the best of every day and
every moment. Making it count as I call it.
I intend Sam to have as normal a life as possible. To laugh
and have fun like the rest of us. Disability is a state of
mind.
We and friends like us raised £ 3000.00 for Lister Lane School
in Bradford run by SCOPE. We raised the money by walking 25
miles from Ilkley To Kettlewell.
Everyday is a challenge, not letting the bastards win.
Jack
We adopted Jack from 3 months old, he’s now 2.
Jack has 2 brothers , one is 6 the other is 3, Jack was taken
at birth.
We keep in close contact with Jacks brothers; we feel that
as blood family they are all each other have. .
This is a message of hope to anyone; you are never alone out
there.
Stranger than fiction Jacks birthday is on our wedding anniversary.
Things can and do come round, a lot of it is what you make
of it and how you deal with it. To me moaning and groaning
doesn’t change a damn thing,
I say it again don’t let the bastards win.
This is for any one who may read this; do not give the four-letter
word HOPE
You speak of my resilience, thank you I don’t deserve it.
I hope you read this with interest. Sam and Laura were both
spared so much pain and suffering despite everything else.
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