LATEST NEWS FROM NETHERTON.
BONG, BONG, BONG.
Good evening in tonight’s programme we will be going back
a year and telling the moving story of a Mr N. Hudson’s courage
and restraint under tremendous pressure.
A year or so ago there was little or no bath water to be
found. Mr Hudson, in a brave effort to do his bit for
the environment, set about bathing his sons Samuel Luke and
Jack Elliot.
To compensate for the small amount of water found, Mr Hudson
set about putting bubble bath into the tub. The children were
said to be overjoyed and seen to be playing heartily.
On drying the children Mr Hudson was said to be so relieved
that he’d done his bit for the environment, and to carry on
his bit he would warm the said bath up for himself.
He was alleged to have gone to the fridge where a Kit Kat
was waiting for him. Mr Hudson took off his dressing gown
and got into the said bath.
Relaxing in the warm bubbly water, he then proceeded to eat
the aforementioned Kit Kat.
He then set about making his daily cleaning routine, ensuring
the armpits were well scrubbed. Bubbles merely surrounded
Mr Hudson, the water was clear around the knees. He then noticed
a floating brown object in the water, thinking it was a piece
of Kit Kat he promptly picked it out of the bath. Mr Hudson
is then said to have
had a momentary lapse of reason, realizing he had dropped
none of the aforementioned Kit Kat into the bath.
Mr Hudson, in panic and shock, had concluded he had a hand
full of excrement. Leaping form the bath he allegedly was
heard screaming a mile away “THE DIRTY LITTLE BUGGERS”.
Suzanne, the wife of N, entered the bathroom promptly and
was quoted as saying “what the bloody hell’s up with you?”.
She was informed of the news.
Mr Hudson spent the night at the local hospital after scrubbing
the flesh off his hands. Suzanne was admitted for hysteria.
”A year on Mr Hudson can you tell me how you feel at this
moment?”
”I have to get showered now, since that awful night I’ve
never been the same. I still have flashbacks and can’t eat
Kit Kats, its just too hard”.
”How are the children”
”They bounced back”
”And your wife”
”She still suffers from hysteria, it starts with a giggle
and goes from
there”
”Mr Hudson thank you for your time and overwhelming courage”
”Goodnight!”
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