The final mile and a half of my journey to Bonnie Dundee has finally arrived as we approach the Tay Road Bridge, opened in 1966 by the Queen Mother and which is one of the longest of it's type in Europe.

One of the longest journeys in Scotland surely must be the one I've just experienced on this rumbling, clapped-out, double decker bus, the dreaded 95 from Leven to Dundee via the East Neuk of Fife.

It's been a long time since I went the "whole way", and I'm sure that an R.A.F rescue helicopter escorted us from Leuchars!

The wind is quite strong today on the bridge but certainly not as strong as it was on the night of December 28, 1879 when a storm swept the Tay rail Bridge away, along with 75 train passengers.

The bridge collapsed within 19 months of it's opening due to the slender nature of the design, the poor quality of workmanship or, possibly, the train exceeding the speed limit.

The replacement bridge was completed in 1887 but the brick column bases, used to support the first bridge, can still be seen on the East side of the present bridge.

We arrive at Dundee bus station with no bother at all, phew!

Welcome to Dundee, City of Discovery and the place of my birth. Dundee bus station is similar to any other bus station in the country except it is brand new and, yippee, after all those years of being "caught short between journeys, the travelling public are delighted and relieved to see that lesser spotted beast, the public toilet, installed in the waiting area.

It's 20p a go and business is brisk. It's disgusting that you have to pay that amount to answer the call of nature - whatever happened to "spending a penny?" It costs 10p in Leven and is free in St Andrews, so if you can hold on till the home of golf folks you're home free.

No seriously, 20p a day as a lot of dough for regular travellers to pay for a visit to the loo, that's £12.80 a year, but if you suffer from incontinence or a weak bladder, double it. It should be possible to use the facilities for free if you purchase a ticket to travel!

As an afterthought I wonder if the expense is tax-deductible for business travellers. If you want value for money take a book with you and go the whole hog. "War and Peace" sounds good if you are gonna get your moneys worth!

Dundee flourished during the medieval period and was one of the richest burgh's in the country by the early 1600's but the town, during the mid 17th century, was sacked by the armies of the Duke of Montrose and General Monk, which spoilt it's growth and prosperity for half a century and beyond.

Dundee was really built on Jute, Jam and Journalism in the 19th century, but only journalism today with the D. C. Thompson Company producing our favourite characters from the Beano and other famous comics. I saw Denis the Menace collecting for charity in the Galleon Bar one night and I admit that I'd had a few whiskies but he looked younger than me.

VERDANT WORKS (excerpt from the official brochure).
Verdant Works is much more than a textile heritage centre-it's a living, breathing reminder of a vanished world. Experience how the people of Dundee really lived over 100 years ago - rich and poor, young and old, at work and play. Get a real insight into their lives, learn how they coped in an era of dramatic change and experience a bygone age. Absorb the sights, sounds and smells of the machine room, sense the earth tremble as the original machines roar into life. Feel what it was like to work here a century ago, and hear the workers tales as they confide their secrets and tell you their hopes, dreams and fears.

When I was young I was nurtured in an area surrounded by Jute mills and, sometimes, I used to have a blether with a weaver or someone, on my way to primary school and I used to say that when I grew up I was gonna work in a mill and drive a bogey. A bogey was a nifty vehicle for carrying bales of jute around the mills and I wanted one.

When I reached the age of fifteen I got my wish and worked in a jute mill in a suburb of Dundee called Lochee but I wasn't allowed to drive a bogey so I just picked a few.

I was employed as the mill's office boy and I was the most popular guy in the place on Friday afternoons, wheeling the wages trolley through the mill. What a din, calm down girls!

In the middle of the 19th century Dundee weavers were averaging ten shillings for a weeks work, starting at 5.30am until 7.00pm, six days a week. Their main entertainment was drink and producing children - what a way to relax, it beats watching Coronation Street.

For some strange reason Dundee's population increased dramatically and rows of dreary tenements were built to house them. They were without drains or a decent water supply but the tenants accepted the circumstances with little complaint.

The only complaint that I have today, after a wee wander to the derelict old jute mills, is that one of my favourite pubs, the Weavers Arms, is closed for refurbishment so it's down to the Galleon Bar me old shipmates. I don't believe it, it's closed and, OH NO, it's changed it's name to Flares!

I'll just have to go down to Discovery Quay which, by the way, isn't a pub, it's where Captain Scott's famous ship "RRS Discovery" is berthed, looking out onto the Tay.

Scott and his crew incredibly survived two long winters locked in Antarctic ice only to die on a trek to the North Pole later.

A quick stroll and a five minute walk if you run along the quayside and I come across the frigate Unicorn, which is a 46-gun wooden warship, launched in Chatham in 1824. She is now the oldest British ship afloat.

Well folks it should come as no surprise to you that Dundee has a close association with the sea and was once the UK's leading whaling port but now it's the City of Discovery and, like any other city, if you stop for a rest in the city centre, the local drunks will hassle you for your spare change so that they can exchange it for a little light refreshment - or for there bus fare to Broughty Ferry, Desperate Dan is still here!

It's Christmas Time, Mistletoe and Grouse

The local bus from the centre of Dundee, with the Christmas spirit in full swing, takes about 15 minutes to the fishing town of Broughty Ferry where the Jute barons of Dundee built their mansions in the 1800's and had a cosy life.

Broughty Ferry was known as the 'Brighton of Scotland' with trains arriving at the railway station teeming with holiday folk in the summer, heading for the beach.

The train station was built in the mid 1800's and train spotters still fight for the best position at the level crossing. They always seem to disappear before the police arrive but a couple were spotted in disguise by CCTV outside the Royal Arch. I was having a wee refreshment inside, officer, and saw nothing, trying to get into the Christmas spirit is proving difficult with these interruptions.

Down at the castle green, the flag of Scotland proudly flies at Broughty Castle, a 15th century estuary fort. It was besieged by the English in the 16th century and was attacked by Cromwellians under General Monk in the 17th century. It is now a museum which displays local history and Dundee's whaling story.

On the way back to Dundee we pass the limb fitting centre so I know where to go if I need a hand.

Dundee's Wellgate shopping centre was mobbed with Christmas shoppers this afternoon. One of the escalators broke down and some of its passengers were prepared to stand there for hours until it was repaired, lazy gits.

Yes! The Xmas rush is here, yippee! Jingle bells in the tills. Pushing, shoving, screaming kids, irate mothers, fairy lights, happy and gay.

Did you know that gay Scottish farmers prefer peat to heather at Christmas.

In the city square there was golden galloping horses spinning round on Warrington's Victorian Carousel with screaming kids having the time of their lives and the ice rink tent next to the giant Christmas tree was full to bursting with skaters. It's Christmas time.

Here at Deacon Brodies, one of Dundee's liveliest pubs, the spirit of Xmas is here as well and the Xmas menu is now on display; roast bubbly jock with traditional trimmings, roast potatoes and fresh vegetables yum yum, followed by Christmas pudding log with brandy cream sauce. All I need is an offer.

Big Al's karaoke disco is in full swing on the corner and someone's put me down for 'Mack the Knife' that'll be right, no chance I ain't singing tonight, I'm drinking.

'Cambelltown Loch I wish you were whisky, I would drink you dry' yea. Well folks, I've had a few glasses of the Famous Grouse whisky and it's done me no harm at all and really I'm just practising for a visit to the Scotch whisky heritage centre when I arrive in Edinburgh, where a whole world of taste sensations await me at the bar, where I have an opportunity to sample a wide variety of scotch whisky brands.

Gloria Gaynors song is now being sung by a few girls on the karaoke machine and they sound awful. I've had a few drinks too many now but as the song goes, I will survive.

See you in Edinburgh for Hogmanay hick, 'scuse me, pished, it is Chrisshmas after all ta ta.

Wandering Willie