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A sporran which was part of Gareth Moore's wedding outfit was impounded by customs officials in Melbourne. It was handled with rubber gloves and bombarded with gamma rays in case its horse and goat hairs were contaminated with foot and mouth. Aiden Mooney, an ex-pat in Austin Texas, ordered a portion of cod and chips to be flown out to him from Durham, over 4,500 miles away. A driver who received notice of a £60 fine with a picture of his car caught in an automated speed trap sent a photograph of £60 instead of payment but paid promptly after Surrey police sent him a picture of handcuffs. Only two fifths of people think Jesus would go to church if he were alive today according to an NOP poll. Ten million cigarettes are smuggled into Britain every day, comprising one in five of those smoked according to HM Customs and Excise. Police are to use cardboard officers in supermarkets to fight crime in Bridlington, east Yorkshire. An orchestra is touring Rio De Janeiro on bicycles because its conductor wants to make classical music less elitist. At a cricket match between Yorkshire LPS and Amarmilan in the Bradford Sunday League, all 22 players and the scorer shared the same surname, Patel. Researchers have found that all the original names for medieval brothels, or red light districts, have been gradually been bowdlerised except one: Grope Lane in Shrewsbury. A mother in Moscow paid six bags of potatoes to a professional assassin to kill her 19-year-old son, because she could not afford his keep any more. A boy of eight who had his arm bitten off by a shark while bathing in waist-deep water off Florida was rescued by his uncle, who then caught the shark, beached it, cut its throat and retrievedthe severed limb from its throat. The arm has been reattached and shows good prospects of growing normally. According to the Alliance of Professional Tattooists, one in 10 adults in the US now has a tattoo, compared to one in a 100 in 1970. Mobile phone theft now accounts for 40% of street robberies in UK city centres according to Home Office research. Police investigating the thefts of red post boxes in North Wales say they are being sold secretly to collectors of British memorabilia in the US. Police arrested a Parisian man for slicing up his mothers corpse and dropping her pieces in the Seine while claiming her pension. California's appeal court upheld a homeless man's jail sentence for stealing four biscuits. Under the state's "three strikes and your out" law, Kevin Webster was jailed for 25 years to life! An elderly New Zealand couple went to strangers' funerals five times a week for 17 years to get free food and drink. Schools in Belgium have replaced lunchtime fizzy drinks with beer for pupils as young as three. Experts believe that low-alcohol beer is healthier than soft drinks. The Girl Scouts of America have introduced a new badge: Stress Management. A guard on an armoured van in Caracas, Venezuela who won a bravery award last month for fighting off armed robbers has vanished with £4 million cash. Five days after a 3-hour TGV service between Paris and Marseilles was launched, trains were taking 6 hours because of subsidence on the new line. The head and bones of a man found in a 12 ft tiger shark caught off Howe Island, north of Sidney, were identified as being Arthur Applet, aged 75. He had been missing for more than a month. A boy was expelled from a primary school in Cardiff for allegedly attacking a member of staff. The culprit is aged five. Police in the Indian state of West Bengal found 86 human skulls in a bag abandoned at a bus stop. Thousands of fake dollar bills which were blown up during the making of a film in Las Vegas were collected by passers-by, who then spent them. Hackers closed the US Government's "impregnable" computer centre which alerts the world to virus threats by hackers. An American company is selling an toy designed to stimulate children's imagination. It is called Invisible Jim and is an empty box costing £2, labelled "As not seen on TV, batteries not included." A man handed in his pet python to the RSPCA in Godshill, Isle of Wight, because it did not match the colour of his newly decorated home. A packing company in New Zealand had to shut for two days after an employee served a birthday cake laced with cannabis. Sixteen people went to hospital with hallucinations and the rest could not operate the machinery. Eight members of a religious sect died when their bus was set on fire by a mob in Osu, Nigeria. They were blamed for using sorcery to make a man's penis vanish. A Florida court ruled that Disney World employees must be paid for the time it takes them to dress up as Mickey Mouse or Goofy. About 3000 employees will be entitled to back pay. Anxious to avoid the undertaker's fees for transferring a body 1000 miles from Colorado to Oregon, Janet Levene drove there with the corpse of her 91-year-old mother sitting beside her - dressed in a pair of pyjamas. Three Eurostar trains were diverted to another line through Kent after 6 boys were spotted baring their behinds at passing trains. A spokesman said "We don't want our passengers having to see that."
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