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Weird Tales - Page Fourteen
A BMW confiscated from drug dealers has been added to the Dyfed, Powys, police's fleet of cars. A force spokesman said: "This has saved the taxpayer a considerable sum of money." A registrar in Rochdale who has conducted 600 marriage ceremonies, lived for nearly 20 years as a bigamist. His double life was discovered when he fled abroad with a third woman. A Swedish man, devastated when his wife filed for divorce, converted all the family's shares and mutual funds into £50,000 cash - and then burnt it. Two families visiting elderly patients on a busy ward in a Birmingham hospital found their relatives dead. A nurse told one wife: "Your husband is dozing." The UK Trade and Industry Department has produced an 86-page report on how to open a plastic bag. It cost £100,000! A mother complained that her doctor in Camden, north London, treated her baby's stomach bug by swinging a crystal over a book of herbal remedies. Two chain stores in Italy withdrew their stocks of fur coats after animal rights campaigners carried out DNA tests on the coats. They were found to be dog fur. Anti-drug authorities in Mexico raided their own offices and found 1,000 lbs of marijuana. Nine staff were arrested. A Mafia hitman charged with two murders told a court in Italy that he had an alibi. "It was not me," he said. "That night I was killing someone else." Six residents of a Russian hamlet with a population of 14 were found stabbed to death. They had just collected their pensions. A family in Bochum, Germany, has kept an eel in the bathtub for 23 years. When someone wants a bath the eel swims into a bucket. When the mastermind of a bank van robbery was arrested in Bangkok, police found he had set fire to the money. He said he had been cold. The Department of Work and Pensions paid £2,500 compensation to Terry Kelham who worked for seven years in a room with eight photocopiers. He said the machines made him deaf. Birmingham City Council's 50,000 employees took 895,000 days off sick last year. That is the equivalent of three and a half working weeks per employee. The Santa Claus Foundation launched a campaign for the bones of St Nicholas to be returned from Italy to his Turkish birthplace. A woman who forgot her house keys had to be rescued by firemen in Wigston, Leicestershire. She tried to get into her home through the cat flap and became stuck. Many stores in Germany have stopped selling cans of soft drinks and beers. A new law imposes a redeemable 16p deposit on every can sold. Mark Walker has become the first person to be banned form drinking alcohol anywhere in England and Wales. If he does and gets caught he faces a five-year prison sentence. Violence broke out in Malawi after the government launched a campaign to give blood. Locals believed that the authorities were colluding with vampires. Jane Soares was caught in the middle of a shout-out between police and drug dealers in Rio de Janeiro. She was shot in the chest but survived thanks to her silicone breast implants. South Africa's minister of transport has warned pedestrians not to drink and walk after 839 people were killed on the roads while intoxicated. Thieves stole four luxury cars in the village of Chorley, Lancashire, in one morning. The drivers had left their engines running to defrost the windscreens. Japan threatened to bar the Romanian gymnastic team from a competition in Yokohama after three women members of the team - including Olympic gold medallist Lavinia Milosovici - performed nude for a Japanese television programme. South Central rail network came up with a new excuse for its trains running late. It said that delays were caused by passengers getting on to the trains too slowly. Trading standards officers in West Yorkshire caught a gang with 100 pairs of fake Calvin Klein underpants when they saw the washing instructions: "Fumble dry,remove promptly, use a worm iron." A company in Narborough, Leicestershire, abandoned plans to give every member of staff a turkey for Christmas. The Inland Revenue ruled that it was "benefit in kind" and each employee would have to pay tax. Two 10-year-old carol singers are being hunted by police in Scunthorpe, Lincolnshire. Residents complained that when they refused to give money to the children they were threatened with crowbars. A man confessed to having eaten an acquaintance after police discovered human bones in his home in Kassel, Germany. He found his victim by advertising on the internet: "Seeking young, well-built 18 to 30-year-old for slaughter." A businessman who was seized by a crocodile as he swam in Nkhata Bay, Malawi, escaped by biting the beast on the nose. A Greek shepherd who climbed a tree to escape a pack of wolves was saved by his mobile telephone. He called his brother who arrived with his rifle to frighten the 20 wolves off. Two women were banned for life from a Bridgend bingo hall after fighting over a lucky chair. One was taken to hospital with a broken nose and two black eyes.
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