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Weird Tales - Page Sixteen
An Oklahoma woman who shot her husband dead told police that they had been arguing over who should feed their goats. Police in Southampton are handing out free lollipops to late-night revellers in an attempt to reduce violence on the streets. Just one hitch: a fight broke out when one man didn't get one. The South Derbyshire Acute Hospitals Trust refused a £50 donation from a woman because she had won the money posing topless in a tabloid newspaper. Two policemen were called to escort an Israeli tourist who fell asleep on the New York Subway off the train. He was fined $50 for taking up two seats. A school's athletics competition in west London was halted temporarily. The race starter accidentally shot himself in the leg. A disabled woman was awarded £8,000 after a faulty stairlift catapulted her down the stairs at her home near Pontypridd, Wales. She now lives in a bungalow! An academic at the University of Queensland, Australia, was given £32,000 of state money to "prove Jesus was gay". He came to the conclusion that three disciples were homosexual too. Iraqi police are to wear blue berets after they rejected parts of the new uniform devised for them by their US advisers. The Americans had wanted them to wear baseball caps. Magistrates at Barrow in Furness ordered a 17-year-old youth arraigned for rowdy behaviour to pay £100 compensation to the policeman who arrested him for calling him "fat". The Pc is 5 ft 8 ins tall and weighs 14 st. A firm in Newcastle set up to help people clear their debts has gone into voluntary liquidation owing £5 million. A boy of 16 was expelled and unable to take GCSE exams at Enfield, north London. He had been studying at home and was late for a school photograph. Thieves in northern Columbia were caught after withdrawing £2,500 from cash machines with a credit card they found. It belonged to the country's president, Alvarao Uribe. Following reports that a shortage of plumbers makes it possible for them to earn £70,000 a year, a training course in Bristol received 2,000 applications for the 36 places. Two years ago a Liverpool wife complained to Tony Blair that she had waited eight hours on a hospital trolley. She was assured it would never happen again. She went back to hospital last week and waited 30 hours. A German court fined a man £1,900 for celebrating his neighbour's death by loudly singing "It's a Wonderful Day". A man aged 61 is suing the Arriva bus company in Yorkshire. He claims that his bus was late. A man died after running into a South African suermarket, seizing a butcher's saw and starting to cut off his head. Shop staff were receiving counselling. King Mohammed of Morocco celebrated the birth of a son and heir by ordering the release of 9,459 prisoners. Another 38,529 had their sentences reduced. America's oldest coffee roaster has had to shut his shop after New York's environmental agency fined him $400 for failing to control the smell of coffee. A local resident had complained. A couple accused of kidnapping a neighbour's cat have had to put their house up for sale in a Cornish village after living there for 18 years. Villagers are refusing to talk to them. A Turkish soccer club sacked its French star Pascal Nourma after he put his hand down his shorts to celebrate scoring a goal. He said the gesture was a "private sign of joy". A Swedish job-hunter advertised herself in a newspaper as "anti-social, uncreative and untalented". SHe got a job the next day, which increased her pay by £1,300. Karen Buckley, who has three teenage children, was chosen "Mum of the Year" by a local newspaper in Rochdale. After receiving her prize she disclosed that she had had a sex-change operation and that she was the father of the children. A German professor of biology said that he had discovered a new way to bosst fertility. He had found that human sperm become excited when exposed to the scent of lily of the valley. Twin brothers aged 78 were arrested in Italy after their 90-year-old brother was found locked in an attic. Police said that the twins lived for years on their brother's war pension. The British Metropolitan Police set up a stall at the Cannes television festival to sell video film of car chases direct to producers. It expects to raise £1 million. Ten people were arrested on a bus in China's southern Guanxi province when 28 baby girls, all under 3 months, were found in suitcases. They were due to be sold to childless couples. The Mayor of Chepstow, Gwent, Wales, resigned over his affair with an undertaker after she was convicted of stealing money from collection boxes at funerals. A Beefeater who lives within the walls of the Tower of London, and less than 100 yards from the Crown jewels, was refused household insurance. Keith Sanderson lost the tip of his thumb in a factory guillotine in Newcastle upon Tyne. He then cut off a finger showing his manager how it happened. A bricklayer sent to prison on a driving charge had pleaded with Weymouth magistrates not to jail him as he was due to marry the next week. The local newspaper reported the case - alerting his wife that he was about to commit bigamy.
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